I'm going to tell u a secret but just promise me keep it to yourself. Ever since around two years ago I already decided today is going to be my last day. I've thought of everything, how will it end, when will it end, where will it end. It isn't easy up till now. I've written my last words from 2015, and kept it in my mind since then. Yes, I am probably having depression, but I don't need pity or anything. I am thinking very logical and clearly even since back then. Life is just too hard. It might get easier you might say, but will it? How'd you know? People would be sad if I m gone? I honestly doubt it. I won't know till I'm actually gone. Yeah. I'm not sure what  going to do next. I have no plans from this day on. The reason I am telling you is not to burden you, but you are my best and longest friend, probably closer to me than alot of people I've met. If anything happens to me I think you should know first.