永远不明白自己存在的意义.
这世界有许多比我有用,比我有贡献,
可是却永远被命运玩弄.
如果可以,把我的命,换别人更好更幸福的人生,
请问我应该在哪儿签名?
December 6, 2020
November 1, 2020
October 25, 2020
I got married.
I feel happy.
But at the same time,
I don't feel like I deserve to be happy.
I feel like I have not yet paid for what I have done.
For leaving you all those years.
For not being there for you when you needed me most.
For being alive.
There's always a voice in my head telling me that I don't deserve any of this.
Maybe I don't really deserve this.
Maybe I should just leave.
August 14, 2020
August 10, 2020
I never considered myself to be strong willed.
Always putting up a false front to not let anyone else worry.
But yet there are times it just falls off.
There are far too many times that i just cant help it but break down.
There are even more times that i just contemplate killing myself.
I'm not sure how much longer i can keep it up.
False tears can only hurt others. False smiles can only hurt yourself.
July 19, 2020
July 17, 2020
Whatever is keeping me sane is also the cause of my pain.
It is also the person I love the most.
I'm torn. What should I do?
Should I just die?
Give up on trying?
Suck it up and live for their sake, without ever being happy?
I don't know dude.
Everything points to the same solution.
"Just jump off a bridge somewhere."
It is also the person I love the most.
I'm torn. What should I do?
Should I just die?
Give up on trying?
Suck it up and live for their sake, without ever being happy?
I don't know dude.
Everything points to the same solution.
"Just jump off a bridge somewhere."
June 19, 2020
May 24, 2020
May 22, 2020
February 2, 2020
everytime a tragedy occurs,
someone close to me, or someone unrelated at all,
this damned feeling comes back to haunt me.
"why did that happen to a person who have done so much good to this world, to so many people,
why cant this shit happen to me instead."
they have so much to live for,
and i am just here waiting for everything to be over.
January 3, 2020
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