i will never tell anyone ever again.
this is my burden, and only mine to bear.

i want to die, yet i am too afraid.
i want to be saved, yet i don't deserve it.
maybe i should just start smoking, at least i'll die faster.

everytime a tragedy occurs,

someone close to me, or someone unrelated at all,

this damned feeling comes back to haunt me.

"why did that happen to a person who have done so much good to this world, to so many people,

why cant this shit happen to me instead."

they have so much to live for,

and i am just here waiting for everything to be over.