I feel happy.
But at the same time,
I don't feel like I deserve to be happy.
I feel like I have not yet paid for what I have done.
For leaving you all those years.
For not being there for you when you needed me most.
For being alive.
There's always a voice in my head telling me that I don't deserve any of this.
Maybe I don't really deserve this.
Maybe I should just leave.
