藍大方將可以討論叫我決定,可是如果不是他的要求就不給女兒嫁.那叫什麼討論?

Whatever is keeping me sane is also the cause of my pain.
It is also the person I love the most.
I'm torn. What should I do?
Should I just die?
Give up on trying?
Suck it up and live for their sake, without ever being happy?
I don't know dude.
Everything points to the same solution.
"Just jump off a bridge somewhere."

有时我觉得死掉还是最好的

以后说话小心一点。

最好不要说话。

不说话就没机会说错话。

too mentally stable to die,

too mentally unstable to be happy.

what a dilemma

i will never tell anyone ever again.
this is my burden, and only mine to bear.

i want to die, yet i am too afraid.
i want to be saved, yet i don't deserve it.
maybe i should just start smoking, at least i'll die faster.

everytime a tragedy occurs,

someone close to me, or someone unrelated at all,

this damned feeling comes back to haunt me.

"why did that happen to a person who have done so much good to this world, to so many people,

why cant this shit happen to me instead."

they have so much to live for,

and i am just here waiting for everything to be over.

死掉最好

僕が死のうと思ったのは
曾經我也想過一了百了

Maybe it isn't that I want to die.

Maybe I just don't want to exist.

We're in a world full of people, yet I'm feeling so lonely

If only I could tell myself there's plenty fish in the sea

But see the sea if full of sharks, fake guppies and greed

And as I find myself drowning while I'm fighting to breathe

还是死掉算了

如果有一天，

我有了絕症，

我肯定是這世界唯一一個覺得開心的人。

It has been a while since i had this feeling,

or should I say it has been a while since i wrote about this feeling,

this god damn feeling of defeat, helplessness.

I'm not even going to be self conceited and say I have depression cause I know there are others out there that have it worse than me. 

But everyday I'm here thinking do i deserve to stay alive?

愛得不離不捨
和愛得不理不睬
差別好大

那该死的感觉，
有回来了。
可能从来都没提起过，
可是我一直都很明白自己的忧郁和自杀念头是从哪里来。
不是你，而是那该死的无助感。
只是在很巧合的情况下，
你就是我无助感的最大来源。

I should just die

昨晚又哭了。

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