if only i could rewind and remove every memory of me.

曾失去過你的我，

很明確的記得這份痛。

because its the only way i know how,
the only way that no one gets hurt.
no one but me.

yes, always.

When I get bigger,
big enough to go somewhere by myself,
I want to go to a land that’s far away.
I want to go to a faraway island.
I want to go to an island that has no people.
I want to go to an island that has no pain or sadness.

On that island,
I can climb a tree when I want to climb,
swim in the sea when I want to swim,
and sleep when I want to sleep.

When I think about the town without me,
The kids will go to school as always,
The adults will go to work as always,
Everyone will live as always.

When I think about the town without me,
I feel a sense of relief.
I want to go far, far away.

- The Town Without Me, Kayo Hinazuki

i can run a millions simulations for our future,

yet every time i think of a future without you,

i'd hit a wall. 

i can never think of a world without you.

but yet, here i am,

thinking about letting go. 

i know you'd get hurt. 

but its only temporary.

with me gone,

gone from your life,

gone from this world,

everything would change for the better. 

i wish none of this would every happen.

i wish i never told you i love you.

i wish you'd never fall in love with me.

i wish you will always be happy, even without me.

its all my fault.
i don't know how long i can keep this up anymore.

i am sorry.

本当にごめんなさい。

到了最關鍵的時刻，
我還是說不出口。

ごめんね、今までありがとう。

對不起

nothing changed.

i am that same suicidal me 10 years ago.

今天，心軟了。
對不起，以後不會了。
好想找個不認識的人，
談心事，要他聽我自相矛盾。
可惜那個人，不能是你。
因為對我很重要，
所以我更需要把你們推得遠遠。

24年，還是一樣。

its not that i dont care,
its because i care that i push everyone away.

a conversation that will never happen.

說不出的事實

對不起。

354 days.

always

'regret'
this is the weakness and pitifulness of you in the past.
what you did, and what you din't do,
you will regret.

the only way, is to put on that smile,

because i know without it,

i will lose all control of my feelings.

如果讓我從新來過

不需要讓任何人知道，

一直以來都是這樣。

再見

你好，

就好。

not even close

a city without me.

Maybe the 'now' me too.

無論過了多久，

我已原諒不了自己。

Everyday.

喜歡一個人，
不一定要與他長相廝守，
只要她幸福，就足夠了。

又是時候，
該做出選擇了。
到底應該繼續推開全世界?
還是應該回到當初？

又到了那個時候。
永遠一個人。

如果有一天我走了，
有多少人會來我的喪禮？
最多3個吧。